Life, to be meaningful, depends on how we communicate with others. The only way to communicate is to begin with a sense of humility and a willingness to change. You cannot communicate by force of will; you cannot bludgeon someone into understanding your point of view. you can only communicate by constant, resourceful, attentive, flexibility.
Often flexibility does not come naturally. Many of us follow the same patterns with numbing regularity. Some of us are so sure we are right about something that we assume mereforceful repitiotion will get us through. There is a combination of ego and inertia at work. Many times it is easiest to do exactl what we have done before. But the easiest is often the worst thing to do.
Take the example of machines. The machine with the greatest number of options, the most flexibility, will have the greatest effect. It is the same with people. the key to life is opening up as many avenues as possible, trying as many doors, using as many different approaches as it takes to solve a problem.
We should always remember that there are no resistant people, only flexible communicators who push at the wrong time and in the wrong direction. Like an Aikido master, a good communicator, instead of opposing someone's views, is flexible and resourceful enough to sense the creation of resistance, find points of agreement, align himself with them and then redirect communication in a way he wants to go.
It is important for us to remember that certain words and phrases create resistance and problems. great leaders and communicators realize this and pay close attention to words they use and the effect they have. One of the reasons for their success in persuading people to move over to their points of view is the very important fact that they appreciate that others also expect that their points of view is listened to and taken into account.
Many times two people on opposite sides of an issue do not appreciate each others point of view and in fact they are so intensely focussed on their views that they do not even hear each other. But when we listen more intently to what the other person is saying, we discover new ways to appreciate people and when the other person senses that he feels respected, he feels heard, and his immediate urgeto fight softens. there is no disagreement, and new possibilities are simultaneously introduced because no matter what the other person says, we can find something to appreciate respect and agree with.
Each one of begin our day and go out to meet people and challenges and at the end of the day, hope to find ourselves at the winning end. It should be remembered that is precisely whom we meet, also has left his or her home.
" The best soldier does not attack. The superior fighter succeeds without violence. The greatest conqueror wins without a struggle. the most successful manager leads without dictating. This is called intelligent non-aggressiveness. This is called mastery of men" Lao Tsu, Tao Teh King
Compiled From BVB,